Anxiety. It can be hard to find the positives in it. But for me, there was one. Anxiety helped me to empathise and be optimistic for others.
After becoming a mum, I felt pressured by what I thought society expected of me.
“It’s the best time of your life”
“You can’t imagine life before them”
“Your life is now complete”
“You’ll be overwhelmed with love and joy”
I felt gut burning guilt for weeks – because I had other thoughts.
I was overwhelmed with worry for my daughter, second-guessing everything I did and feeling sick from sleep deprivation. An impending feeling of doom washed over me when I realised I couldn’t sleep for more than 1.5 hours straight while my baby fed 2 hourly.
I didn’t feel connected to motherhood in a way that I thought I should. How could I be so ungrateful as to not enjoy every second? That guilt lifted immediately the day that I confided in a close friend, who was also open and honest about how she felt being a new mum. I realised how easy it is to curl up in a ball and not venture out into the world when you’re feeling lousy. If I hadn’t pushed myself to do so, I may not have laughed with a friend that week or come to the realisation that I wasn’t a complete nut job or a terrible mother! The simple act of talking honestly healed me and it healed my friend. We realised we were normal!
We now laugh…
“Remember the time you were so exhausted you dreamed of handing your baby to the Department, thinking I tried this parenting thing, I’m not cut out for it”.
“Or the time I freaked out that I was stuck with this baby for the rest of my life, and I’ll never sleep for more than 2 hours again”. “When you drove past a couple walking their dog and huffed to yourself jealously … Look at them they still have a life, they don’t have kids”.
Why didn’t someone tell me that it takes time to adjust and get to know your baby? That the love will grow stronger than you had ever imagined. That you’ll form unbreakable family ties and value family above everything else.
Mums would say to me “I didn’t get out of the house until mine were 3 months old” how did you manage to get out with a 2 week old? Back then my reply was “Today is a good day. Yesterday I didn’t get out of my PJ’s, the house is like a bombs hit it and I felt unwell because forgot to eat for the entire day”. Share your bad days. It could really help a mum who’s struggling.
This is where I’m meant to be..
The choice to specialise in newborn photography came from a love of photography, the desire to share stories with mums, and to capture such a special fleeting moment when your baby is a newborn. It’s just incredible the sense of wonderment a newborn brings to a family. Newborns are the building blocks of life. If you are my newborn client, I will certainly offer maternity, first year milestones and ongoing family services. I love “my” families and watching “my” babies grow!
As crazy as parenting is, I love it. You know those car trips on the way to visit friends? It’s a bloody circus, tears, boogers, crying, yelling, hitting each other… I laugh to myself, are we really taking them in public? We arrive, open the doors, kids stop crying and we enter looking like we are managing. Doing it like a Boss.
Don’t you wish you had more time to actually ‘see’ your kids, rather than a rushed glance to check they aren’t juggling knives or forking power points? Chaotic days like this, I wish I made time to watch them play, noticing the little quirks in the things they do.
And then sometimes all I want is to enjoy a cuppa in peace. They both linger like a bad smell waiting to have the last sip. I haven’t finished reading one line of a text message yet. I’m distracted and then drink it all, so I make another to share with them.
Most of us are uncomfortable getting our photo’s taken, but we do it anyway because it means so much to our kids. You are the reason these amazing creatures exist. They adore you. You are their entire world. Mums are behind the camera capturing special moments. Got to love our husbands but they suck at getting us in photos, we must ask them!
WORK WITH US!
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE, CHECK OUR AVAILABILITY AND SET UP A SESSION TODAY!
YOU COULD WIN A VIP SHOOT HERE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A VIP?
The beauty of capturing your world on film is that you find yourself being present here and now, taking in all that your children are, realising this present moment will soon be the past, a beautiful moment, a memory.
See one of my top 5 favourite newborn sessions here.